Behind starburst eyes

Back on track

From mid March until the beginning of May I had stopped working out and monitoring my eating habits as I was so wrapped up in appointments and paperwork stemming from N’s official diagnosis of ASD. While I did in fact lose some of my hard earned progress during those weeks I was determined to start again, which I did. I have now lost 5% of my total body fat since I got back on track! The reason this is so vital is because the hospital I want to have my surgery at has a requirement for how much adipose tissue one posesses before they’ll do the surgery. Now I could go elsewhere for my surgery, somewhere closer to my home that does not have any such requirements, however they also have a much higher re-occurance rate of the hernia coming back than my ideal choice of hospital. SO I am determined to continue with my weight loss goals in order to obtain the best chance of only having to have the surgery preformed once.

The place I want to go to is Sholdice Hospital, which specializes just in hernia repairs, and their reputation is amazing. I felt a bit discouraged about my goals recently as it’s hard to start again when you’ve stopped. It’s also honestly hard to find the time and energy when there is so much else going on in one’s life. But find the time and energy I will because having a hernia sucks, and with my recent success I’ve regained my motivation to keep on keeping on. Sometimes I need that extra motivation, for every single workout hurts in so many ways. It’s not because I’m pushing myself too hard, or because I don’t actually know what I’m doing, it hurts because I’m actually in pain every single day, all day and exercise only adds to that. I am lucky to have my massage therapy background as it has helped me to understand a great deal of how to best optimize my workouts for the results I want without adding any additonal injuries to myself. But motivations like seeing the inches come off, or seeing a decrease in my body fat percentage definitely help my mental state about said workouts. I’m off to the Y again today for more weight lifting and cardio, wish me luck dear readers!

P.S for those that have been reading my blog for awhile, I still can’t do a full sit up, as written about in “Would the real slim Starburst please sit up” found here but I’m getting much closer 😉


Would the real slim Starburst please sit up

As some of you might know from “Kick up your heels” I’ve been going to Pilates lately to try and rebuild the muscles they had to cut for my emergency C-section with G. Well one of the moves is to lay on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor and using only your “core” or abdominal muscles pull yourself into a sitting position.

Now enter me, with my oh so soft cuddly belly and miniscule abdominal muscles and you get entertainment; because I cannot do it. At all, not even half-way, trust me I tried, and tried and it ain’t happening. I huffed and puffed and squeezed my itty bitty muscles as hard as I could and I got the grand result of getting my shoulders off the mat. Not quite the accomplishment I’d been hoping for. Of course I had the fantastic Tatiana for a teacher tonight (I mean that sincerely, she really is a great teacher) and so she sees that I’m struggling (as always with that one) and comes over. Quietly she whispers encouragment to me that I will get there, but that I have to respect my body and what it’s telling me it can do just yet. My logical brain agrees with her completely, I’m an intelligent person, I’ve studied anatomy, I have a decent understanding of human physiology.

But my heart, oh my illogical, irrational heart it just wants to scream at my inability to just sit up. I mean think about it, I just want to be able to sit up, really is that such a big thing I wish for my body to do? NOPE. But without a great deal more work on my part it’s not going to happen. So after one petulant “But I want to be at that level now” I kicked the pity party outta my head and asked for “homework”. Moves I could do at home in addition to attending her classes to help get me closer to my goal of being strong and fit. Fear not faithful readers, if I can’t manage to sit up on my own I’ll just use the couch to pull myself up again so I can continue to write. 😉

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