Behind starburst eyes

Nov 2

The day after the night before

by starbursteyes

Well dear readers as you all know I was supposed to take 5 children trick-or-treating last night. We got a phone call from C’s friend B asking if he wanted to trick-or-treat with him this year. Somehow it became 6 children that were trick-or-treating with myself and the hubby last night. I want to say that it was a blast, with lots of exclamation marks and smiley faces. I want to say it went perfectly and that each child was able to handle the sensory onslaught with perfect ease. But I also want to wake up with no wrinkles or cellulite and that’s not happening either 😉

There were moments that were amazing, sparkling in their crystal-clear sharpness of perfection, and there were moments of momma heart-break where I wondered if only for a moment rather bitterly why his brain was robbing him of these fleeting moments for Halloween is only once a year. But then I would breathe in, hold him close and whisper to him, trying with all my might to block out the world around him for just a moment for his sake so he could regain his center, so he could find joy once more in this night. 
While for a moment I was angry and bitter that his own amazing brain wasn’t allowing him to filter enough to enjoy the night, I watched as my NT step-daughters struggled as well at times. The eldest was having issues with her choice in footwear (boots instead of sneakers) and the rain. While the youngest was having issues with getting in trouble for shoving children out of the way so she could obtain more candy. (She’ll be 9 in 3 months, I get being excited, but I’m not accepting actual pushing or shoving in a quest for more candy) C’s friend was cold and wet, and “his feet were falling off”. Listening to all of them I thought to myself, perhaps it’s just that C is more open with me about his struggles, perhaps many children find Halloween and Trick-or-treating slightly overwhelming, at least when it’s raining and windy out.

The youngest boy loved the entire night. He sang “Trick-or-treat, Halloween” over and over as we walked from house to house. I smiled at him and asked him if he was happy, and his answer was one of “those” moments. He said “Yes” and when  I asked him why thinking his answer would be candy I nearly cried when he responded “You fix everything” I thought I’ll do my best little man, I’ll do my best. 
So next year I will try again to ensure that the 3 children I will have with me (potentially more if C has friends come along) have a blast. 
Oh and I did “fix” if for C, well at least I gave him something to focus on enough that he blocked out whatever else was too much for him. How you ask, I chased the elder children C included with G in her stroller complete with zombiefied rocking horse attached to the front, cackling loudly with wild abandon until I saw my C smile again. 

Autism; second verse same as the first

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Oct 26

Halloween Costumes

by starbursteyes

When C was about 3 years old I noticed that the stores no longer sold “warm” costumes for his size. (The biggest ones were for up to 24 months old) Living in Canada where it gets darn cold by Halloween night I was appalled by the paper thin costumes children were expected to trick-or-treat in. While one could argue that the child simply needed to wear warm clothes underneath, the thin ones weren’t created baggy enough to accommodate a jacket or even a thick sweater under them.  Coupled with his sensory issues, finding a costume that didn’t feel too restrictive on him or too scratchy was hard. I was at a loss as to what to buy him to wear trick-or-treating. That is when I started to sew my own Halloween costumes for him.

Since then, I’ve sewn several Halloween costumes for him. Now with N’s sensory issues I’ve started to sew them for him as well. While I was at Fabricland buying the fabrics and trims I needed for this year’s costumes the sales associate commented on the amount of fabric I was buying. I smiled and said I had 5 costumes to make this year. (We have my 2 step-daughter’s for Halloween this year and I don’t like to do for some and not others, it’s just not fair) When I asked them all did they know why I made everyone’s costumes, my youngest step-daughter told me it’s because it’s cheaper than buying one from the store. I laughed and told her no, not at all. In fact I pay almost double the price to make one out of warm and soft fabrics that will last several years and countless washes in our costume bin for random dress-up days as I would to buy a thin, easily destroyed costume already made at the store. 

It saddened me that she thought I spent all the time that I do designing, cutting, and sewing to save a few dollars. I know why she thought that, but that’s another matter. 

It started out as just a way to keep my eldest warm, while helping him to be able to enjoy his Halloween and not have sensory overload due to scratchy fabrics or feel too restricted to move by the tightness of a thin one once warm clothes were put on underneath.

It’s morphed into something special; something C looks forward to every year. Every once in awhile he’ll go through our costume bin and pull out a piece of one and smile and ask me “Do you remember when you made this one for me? I loved it!” Of course I remember, I remember each late night spent sewing while he slept, and his face once each one was done. I cherish those memories, and as he gets older I can see that he does too. Slowly as N and G get bigger I like to think that they too will be just as excited as their brother for “made with love” costumes, instead of just store bought. 

Autism; second verse same as the first

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