Behind starburst eyes

Aug 6

Corona’s Effect on Mental Health

by starbursteyes

It’s been months since Covid-19 became a worldwide epidemic, and while I am truly, deeply thankful that my family has not experienced this virus directly, sadly it still has had an impact on my children through their mental health.

He used to be gregarious, he used to be fearless, he used to be happy and confident…Used to be…

It makes my heart ache to see the changes in him, to see how scared he is to even leave the house because as he puts it “It’s invisible, I can’t see it, I can’t fight it” He used to be thrilled to pop over to the store for me, and he’d always ask if he could pick up something for dessert for everyone in addition to the bread or milk I was usually asking for. Now, his first response is “Or I could not go” with a pleading face as he says it. He used to love going for runs, now he says “there’s too many people”. He would rather forgo takeout or new toys if he has to go outside for them.

So instead I don’t ask him to go for me, but I do ask him to go with me. I’m willing to walk with him, because I’m determined to make him go out (while of course allowing precautions such as a mask and hand sanitizer) because he can’t stay locked inside for the next however long. It’s not healthy for him.

I know this might be a long road for him, but I remember when he was 2 and would have uncontrollable meltdowns when we’d walk different routes home from Airzone, he’d cry that it “wasn’t the right way home”. Back then I knew he had to learn there were many ways to get to somewhere, physically and metaphorically. I would hold him and tell him over and over he was loved and safe and I understood and he was my wonderful brave boy as he cried for hours even after we got home.

This is no different, I’ll be there each step of the way offering him love and support as I help him walk this hard path. I love him enough to do the hard things because he always has been and always will be worth the effort to help him thrive.

Lambert: Proud to be a lion amonst sheep ;-) mom life

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Jul 7

There’s Always A Reason

by starbursteyes

During a pandemic isn’t the most obvious time to decide one is going to start working on a trailer and planning a trip across the Americas.

While yes a part of the reason is definitely because we couldn’t go on our grand adventure across Europe, another part was the lump I found on my sternum. I needed something to focus on while I waited for results.

While many people equate Autism with a certain amount of social oblivion, where my boys are concerned momma being upset sets off alarm bells real quick! Couple that with this pandemic already having them more anxious and the inability for me to go off from them for awhile while I process and you’ve got the potential for a whole lot of additional stress and meltdowns on their part (totally warranted mind you!)

So instead I focused on the trailer and creating a sanctuary for the kids and I to have. For a place to make memories for years to come as we adventure together, because the alternative wasn’t something I could afford to focus on in such close quarters with them.

With all the additional medical precautions in place for Covid, getting a diagnosis wasn’t as quick as I would like. It took over a week to be able to physically see my doctor, another 2 weeks for the ultrasound, and then a week and a half for inconclusive results. My actual sternum is inflamed and swollen, so I was prescribed an anti-inflammatory for rheumatoid arthritis to see if it helped to decrease the swelling and then an appt with radiology 3 months from now to look at it again. 😦

The idea that I should just sit around and wait 3 more months to see what exactly it is because most medical procedures that aren’t for Covid or for immediately saving one’s life is so disheartening and makes me wonder how many people aren’t getting timely treatment because our government cut funding for hospitals too much for too long and so they can’t handle both right now.

The bright side is that the pain is less with the medication and I think the lump is smaller so fingers crossed it actually is shrinking, and isn’t potentially life-threatening.

Autism; second verse same as the first Lambert: Proud to be a lion amonst sheep ;-) mom life Mommyhood: Fake it till you make it

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Jun 23

Step One: Make A Plan

by starbursteyes

Last week I wrote how I had decided to finally follow my dream and chase the sun with my husband and kids.

Well to do that I needed to make a plan. I know I could have just leapt blindly, but as a mom and still a student myself I couldn’t just have us pack a bag and hope for the best!

Logically step one was to research trucks, and insurance:

After researching we choose this awesome truck:

Stay tuned for step 2: researching and purchasing a trailer!!!

Family Fun mom life Secret Garden

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Jun 14

So I begin…again

by starbursteyes

When I was about 9 years old my grandfather wanted to go on a month long adventure touring down to Florida and back in an RV, and he invited my mother and us with him. He and my mom made all sorts of plans and my mom spent weeks researching various places to stay, planned routes and so on. Shortly before it was time for the 4 of us to go, he became too ill. He insisted my mother take my brother and I, and she asked a long-time friend of the family to come with us as my dad couldn’t take a month off of work (but did fly down to Florida where we spent a few wonderful days at Disney Land together).

My grandfather never got to go on his grand adventure, and as a child I missed him on our trip, but didn’t understand the way I do now how hard it must have been for him to dream, plan and then at the last moment not be able to finally experience his dream.

There were so many amazing memories for my brother and I during that month, and to this day I cherish the time we spent. Once I had my own child I decided I wanted to take them across the Americas and “chase the sun” for a year. Where we traveled based on the weather and simply went where it was warm for the year, slowly making our way out west to B.C and then down south as far as we desired only to go east and back up north to our home at the end.

Well dear readers as I last posted I am determined to live a life where I actively pursue my dreams. So while I won’t be heading out just yet as Covid-19 is still causing a pandemic (not to mention lots of researching, planning and most likely repairing to do first) I’m going to take this leap and chase the sun with my husband and children. I have read many different travelers blogs so I know such an experience isn’t always perfect, but nothing that is real is perfect. It won’t be perfect, but it WILL be amazing, because it’ll be my family and I actively living out a dream, together.

For such a large endeavour the first step for me is researching and planning. Hence my brand new research journal:

Family Fun mom life Secret Garden

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