I’ve been journaling with my kids for a couple of years now. Every night they write out their answers to the same 4 questions (as do I) and I finally took the plunge and created a journal with those specific questions in it for others to use. It’s now available on Amazon! I’m ridiculously excited as each question was designed after years of research in both psychology (for the study of the individual) and anthropology (for the study of group dynamics).
Coronavirus Pandemic and Our Emotional Health
We live in Ontario, Canada and our premier has officially declared a state of emergency this morning. This means in addition to primary, secondary and post-secondary schools being shut down for the next 3 weeks, now our daycare centers, restaurants (dine in portion), bars, cinemas, libraries, museums, major venues such as the science centre, and recreation centers are all shut down until at least April.
We homeschool our 3, but my two stepdaughters attend public school at their mother’s insistence. So this changes some things for us, but not all things. Obviously daycare facilities being closed doesn’t effect us. However, everything else being closed does.
One of the ways all of these closures effect us is through fear and anxiety. My youngest son has asthma and has had to be on oxygen and nebulizers in the past, so I am in a heightened state of anxiety. But I’m not the only one, my children feel it too. Not just through me, but also because news of the virus is everywhere and both kiddos understand the potential implications for their brother, and he understands the implications for himself. To that end we have been working a great deal with the concepts of fear, anxiety and powerlessness.
Acknowledgement of Emotions:
We’ve spoken about how scary it can be to feel like you’re powerless in a situation, and how to work with that feeling to acknowledge it but not let it overwhelm us (a thing I am struggling with myself as well).
Then, I attempt to teach them how to work through their scary thoughts. We talk about their feelings, how their real and valid first. But also that even though their valid, we don’t have to be ruled by them. We can focus on the things we HAVE done, the things we ARE doing, and the things we CAN do during this time.
Breathing Techniques:
Once I’ve validated their emotions we do breathing exercises. Five deep breathes in through the nose and out through the mouth. This helps to calm the nervous system down and allow the pre-frontal cortex to come back online (center of logic and reasoning).
Mindfulness Exercises:
Mindfulness exercises such as finding 5 things they can see, touch, and hear can also help to refocus on calming the mind enough to work through any scary thoughts.
Positive Actions:
Finally, we focus on something positive, such as on gratitude, love, giving to others, or constructive actions. We do this because in allot of ways our thoughts are like roads, the more frequently their used, the more deeply they become entrenched and at times like this we NEED the positive perhaps more than ever.
For one child, focusing then on how grateful they are for the healthcare professionals or our ability to have things delivered to lessen our chances of exposure is helpful.
For another it’s expressing love through acts of kindness such as offering to play another siblings favorite board game or reading a book to a younger sibling.
For another it’s writing a card to send to someone they can’t see in person right now, or walks in the conservation area to be in nature.
For me, it’s constructive physical acts that help, for example organizing cupboards and labelling jars with our supplies or sorting the kids clothes for donations (I’ll wait to donate, but I’m happy to pop bags of donations in a closet ready to go once this is all over). Each person is unique, so choosing the positive actions that work best for them should be specific to them.
Learning about Emotional Equations
Some of our homeschooling doesn’t look like “regular” schooling. Okay, most of it doesn’t look like it lol. That does not mean they are not learning, nor does it mean they aren’t learning very important things.
Many people find it difficult to get to the base root of their emotional states. When one does not understand the root or cause of an emotion it becomes almost impossible to find a solution that effectively works long-term.
To that end, for some viewing their emotional states as equations can assist in further self-awareness. Further self-awareness can assist in higher levels of overall satisfaction with ones life as steps are then taken to ensure they get what they need out of various situations and interactions.
This is what some of our homeschooling looks like:
One important way we help with emotional regulation, encourage mindfulness, boost self-esteem and enhance our connections with each other is to use the gratitude journal I designed. We have a nightly ritual where we have a light evening snack while we write in ours and then take turns reading our entry for that day aloud. There has been a marked difference in my kids (and my own) levels of mindfulness have helped us not just to live more mindful and calm days, but coupled with the chart about have helped us to be better able to talk about not just our feelings but the root of them as well.
Behind starburst eyes 