Behind starburst eyes

Mr.N had a meltdown tonight. A full blown tears streaming down his face, screams pouring from his mouth meltdown. He hasn’t had one like this in a very long time. It was pure primal in it’s intensity.

The reason…We were at the farm and no one was there, so he thought we’d have to go back home without staying.

While on the one hand I was hurting for him, there was a part of me that was thrilled that he has become so attached to that place and the people there that it would cause such a reaction.

I remember all the times I hesitated to bring him to places, NOT because I was ashamed of him, but because I knew that others would not understand him. I knew others would not be as kind as he deserved, or as patient with him as he needed. After all, I had seen with Mr.C, how becoming more open, visiting, staying overnights and all the things families do with other families had lead to many unkind and at times outright cruel moments because he was different…because I parented him in the ways he needed me to instead of the ways others thought I should.

Now though, they truly have a tribe. A tribe that sees every aspect of Mr.N, and not only accepts, but embraces him. I don’t feel like I have to take him elsewhere if he’s having a meltdown, or stand ever so close while someone is trying to converse with him to help ease the difficulty some people experience trying to have a dialogue with him. I don’t have to explain about any aspect of his neurobiology. There, all aspects of him are simply aspects of Mr.N. No explanations, or mitigation of situations necessary.

That overwhelms me with gratitude.