Behind starburst eyes

Stopping to be present

on December 17, 2013

It was late morning, still too early for her usual nap time, but G was tired. Rubbing her eyes, trying to use the bottom of her dress as a blanket, by pulling it up to her head. I laughed at that one, it was adorable! So thinking only of how this meant I had a bit of time before making lunch for the boys to work on some of my stuff I picked her up to take her to bed. But as I did so, she placed her head upon my shoulder, sucked her thumb, and hummed. She was content and that made me pause and just stand there holding her, relishing in the weight and feel of her little body cuddled into mine. Her baby fine hair tickling my face as I turned to kiss her head. She hummed for a few minutes as I gently rocked her, slowly her arm went slack as the humming stopped. She had fallen asleep in my arms, and I just stood there listening to her breathing. Knowing that this precious girl has complete and utter trust in me, humbles me. It makes me profoundly grateful to be her mother, to be the one entrusted with the honor of protecting, and guiding her until she is strong and wise enough to do it for herself. All the while I shall be slowly giving her the tools to do so. If I had not paused when she put her head on my shoulder, if I’d just kept walking, focusing on my constantly full “to-do” list I would have missed that moment. I’m glad that I didn’t.

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