Behind starburst eyes

9 Years Ago

on August 12, 2013

9 years ago today my entire world changed as my eldest son drew his first breath.

To try and capture the awe I have felt all these years watching him grow, watching the changes in him is as difficult as capturing the sun’s warmth in words. It alters everything, gives new life and vision to the world and so did my son’s birth for me.

I changed the day he was born, in ways that I am still learning, and realizing. He painted flames across my belly, they look like they encircle my belly button and rise up to my heart. Each one is a mark from the precious moments I carried his body within my own, safe from the world, wrapped within my body, cradled by my energy, and lulled by my heart that from then on would beat because of him. He (and his siblings) are my world.

His birth was beautiful, I was surrounded by love, peace and support from the womenfolk closest to my heart. My mother held her first grandchild moments after he was born. My best friend since childhood was there with me throughout the entire thing, just as we’d been together through many major changes in our lives. A dear friend of my mother and I sang songs of welcome to my son and you could physically feel her joy emanating from her very being. As she held him I finally rested after 2 days of labor, wrapped in my own mother’s arms as she offered her own strength to me. A gift I have called upon many a times since that day to help guide me through the waters of motherhood.

Already I see the foreshadowings of the man he’ll be, it whispers from the crook of his smile sometimes, it glints in his eyes as he watches over his brother playing in the fading golden light of early evening, it floats upon his shoulders as stands up for what his heart and mind say are the right choices. He is a good boy, and he’s on this way to becoming a good man. The last 9 years have passed ever so fast, and I know the next 9 will as well. So I shall do my best to stay firmly planted within each moment with him, to relish in the now as the now is so precious in part due to it’s very fleeting nature.

Happy Birthday C, you’re my dude, always and forever    


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