Behind starburst eyes

Being a step-mom sucks sometimes

on April 25, 2013

There are times when being a step-mom sucks. Like the moment when I’m laughing and having a great time with my step-daughter and I realize it’s time to stop and pack her up to go to her mother’s house. The days that I have to wait to share special family activities with her because it’s not “our days” yet. I respect that she’s “not mine” but she calls me “Mum” hugs me good-night, tells me she loves me and talks to me about things that she feels are important; about her feelings and thoughts, her fears and her dreams. She regularly asks me to homeschool her (I always tell her no because that’s not a choice I’m allowed to make)
The moment when the clock strikes 6pm on the Sunday of our week-end makes me sad. If I thought all the grown-ups could actually do it I’d totally suggest a duplex so that they could roam from one part to the other as their hearts saw fit without feeling like they had to miss out on either parent, and of course selfishly then I’d get to see her more so that’d be grand to me. But realistically that wouldn’t work with the grown-ups involved, which is a pity but a reality none the less. So I just have to cherish the time I do get with her, which I totally do. 😀 It wasn’t always this fantastic between her and I, but we’ve worked hard on earning each other’s trust and respect and love. I know that even if her father and I weren’t together I’d still want to be a part of her life, and I believe she’d still want me in hers. That’s beautiful and special and I treasure the bond that she and I have built together.

2 responses to “Being a step-mom sucks sometimes

  1. I can not even imagine how hard that must be. you love her like your own, and yet you have to share. Nice post! 🙂

    • Thanks, it’s one of the parts about being a step-parent that most people don’t seem to mention. How after time you get to that point that you love them as much as your own, but unlike your own you have to share them. You don’t get to make any choices for them like what school they attend, what doctor they see, or even if they can be in swimming lessons regardless of the fact that you’d be more than willing to pay for them.

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