An article I wrote about accidently buying friendships when you’re on the Autism Spectrum:
“They say money can’t buy you happiness, but can it buy you friends? While most people know the obvious answer to that is a firm “No” Sometimes people on the spectrum have more trouble with the concept of buying friendship doesn’t work.”
You can find the rest of the article at Parents Space:
http://www.parents-space.com/health-fitness/the-autism-spectrum/buying-friendships/
Informing the Village:
A how to workshop on educating others about your child’s diagnosis
Offered By: Lindsey Asperger’s Autism Support
Presented By: Dawn-Marie Potter
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but how do you make sure the whole village that is involved in your child’s life is on the same page as you about how best to do that? How do you make sure they understand the vital things you know about your child so they too can have fulfilling interactions with them in ways that truly benefit your child? The answer, you teach them about your child. You show them what it means to be “John” or “Jane” Show them what helps your child, what hinders their growth, and how to help them to thrive no matter how your child is feeling at the time. Help them to understand who your child truly is, which is more than just a label, but a whole complete being that is capable of amazing things should they just be given the chance to shine.
You want to make sure every adult that will be partaking in your child’s life understands them. During the workshop we will explore multiple ways of informing and educating others about your child, their diagnosis and what exactly that means for them specifically. From brochure making, to one-on-one confernces, to cookie making (yes cookie making, there will be samples of that one for everyone attending to see how fun and yummy that method is 😉 there are so many different ways to open up and inform others. Come discover some of them with us!
Workshop Details:
Date: May 21st 2013 Time: 7pm
Location: Upstairs meeting room of Loblaw’s located at 400 Kent Street, Lindsey
For more information on how to attend this exciting workshop please contact the LAAS:
Email: Donna: donna.thomson@sympatico.ca
or myself at dawnmusepotter@gmail.com
I am officially now a contributing author on an amazing site: Parents Space
It deals with ALL of the vast and varied issues of parenting, and I’m honored that I get to be a part of it! Please check it out, it’s got a wide variety of thought provoking articles written by insightful authors!
After a hopefully not too horrible trip to a laboratory near here for blood work for my youngest I then get to monitor every single thing he ingests for 3 days. All the way down to one bite or one teaspoon. All of this is for his dietitian appointment on Friday. With his self-limited diet I am concerned about his nutritional needs not being met. To that end I asked for an appointment be set up with a dietitian, and so while honestly I don’t really look forward to the blood work portion of tomorrow, nor to remembering to jot it down if I do get a bit of food finally into him I do look forward to the results from the appointment and of course the solutions that can be obtained from such an appointment. While I’d LOVE it if he ate healthily on a regular basis, with his texture issues that is not going to happen right now. So instead I simply wish to find out if Pedisure or something of that ilk would help to optimize his growth.
Organizations that currently use this brochure:
Rockin’ & Ridin’ for Autism
Autism Canada
Last week C and I spoke of how N wasn’t welcomed at C’s first dance competition (that can be found here) C was so angry that his brother wasn’t accepted, and that by extension he too was not accepted for who he is and how his neuropathways work. So I had two choices, I could either validate his emotions or not. Of course I chose to do so because they ARE his emotions. No one should ever tell someone they can’t feel the way they do. Then what could have been the really tricky part came, how to help him deal with it in a positive manner.
We spoke about awareness, and acceptance. We spoke of how the two are not mutually inclusive of each other. We spoke of how when people don’t understand Autism that their perceptions are skewed in a negitive manner towards things like meltdowns.
That not everyone understands the difference between a meltdown that occurs due to the brain dealing with too much sensory information it can’t process (even in “fun” or “enjoyable” situations) and a tantrum that is a “want” based behaviour choice that occurs simply to produce a desired result from someone.
So we did what I often do when I’m bothered, we baked. Then we baked some more, and we continued to talk and bake for most of the evening. In total we made just over 200 cookies. But these were not ordinary cookies, oh no. These cookies were “secret agenda” cookies. Because they were green and purple puzzle peice shaped sugar cookies and were going to be given out with a business card that C and I designed about Autism. Here is about half of them:
On the front of the card it said “Life with Autism can still be sweet!” and below that the one thing C says is most important to know about being Autistc “My brain works a bit differently, but my heart doesn’t. I still feel everything else that other people do, and I just want to be accepted as me, not as what you think a label makes me” On the back I added a list of ingredients for the cookies and how to find their way here should they wish to learn more about what Autism means for us specifically.
We then discussed who/where we were going to give out our plethora of cookies, and C said he’d like to give them out to the kids at his homeschool group, because “Me and N go there, so I want them to understand Autism doesn’t make me or N bad, just a bit different, but different can be good too.”
Well the cookie giving went very well from my point of view. There was one moment that one of the other homeschooling moms came up to me, told me how much she liked what we’d done, and thanked us for informing her and everyone there about Autism. I was floored, it was such a lovely reaction, and I treasure her support of our endevour greatly! The staff at the YMCA where we go for homeschool group were great about it as well, smiling, munching cookies and reading the cards attached. Many of them commenting to C how great it was that he had done this. Ahh yes another reason I adore the YMCA we go too, as if I needed more reasons with how fantastic every person that works there is! (Seriously, I have no idea how they managed to get that many awesome people to work in one building, but I may never move towns just so we can continue to go there specifically for so many of our fitness/social programs!)
C was so happy with how well it went that I have agreed to help him make another 200 cookies to give away to somewhere else. No clue where that is yet, as I’m letting him pick where he feels we should go with them. 🙂
This past week-end was C’s dance competition and it was indescribable to watch. But there was a sad part to the first day of it. We brought N. Now I am fully thrilled that we brought N. I love both my boys and after going through the rough and rocky times that I did with C as a single mom I get that it’ll take time to help N get to where he can handle things like big dance competitions with lights and random people, loud music and noises and I’m sure a plethora of other sensory input that I am not cognitively aware of that N and C are. It wasn’t even N’s meltdowns that painted a bit of grey on our otherwise bright day. As I said, I get that it’s hard for him, and all I feel when he’s having a meltdown is first sorrow for him that he’s upset, followed quickly by determination to do my utmost to help him to deal with the sensory overload. It was the reaction that he received from one of the people working there that marred our moment. Now we didn’t keep N in the auditorium during his meltdowns, we’d bring him out to the foyer any time he started to get upset so that the dancers on stage and the judges were not distracted. Out in the foyer right after I went outside with N with my husband my mother was standing inside when this woman that worked there loudly proclaimed “Oh good, I don’t have to listen to that anymore!” My mother explained that that child was her grandson and that he was overwhelmed by everything due to sensory issues because he’s Autistic. The woman’s response “So what! I don’t care, I don’t want to have to listen to that all day!”
Awesome customer service! Now I was very upset when my mom told me and after much “discussing” with her she finally told me who had said it. Now I know myself and I know that if my mother has already received the reaction of “so what” than me directly discussing it with her would have only lead to me getting really loud and nasty. It’s true, I’ve got a temper, but I’m aware of it. SO because C still had an awards ceremony that day and I didn’t want to be banned from the place for it I went to the manager.
After I explained what happened, a horrified manager apologized profusely. He was sincere in his upset and promised to deal with the employee accordingly. About an hour later he came up to me again and apologized again, explaining that she would definitely be dealt with, and that their performance centre did not tolerate their employees to behave in such a terrible manner. Today while most of the staff was the same, that woman was nowhere to be found 😀 Plus we go back to the same centre for a different competition in just over a month, I expect said women to either be much less judgmental and rude or simply not there. I shall let you know dear readers which one happens.
Contributing Author at Parents Space
Behind starburst eyes 